Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Hole

  • animation powers: at 95%

So a few weekends ago I'm trimming the bushes out front. Chop chop chop...when I notice a good size hole at the base of one of the plants. Dark. Mysterious. I wonder if anything is in there? I found a 3 foot long stick and stuck it in the hole; it went pretty much all the way in. Fantastic. Even more fantastic was that nothing came running out of hole and ate my face.

I surmised that whatever was in there had left and went about filling in the hole. A couple days later I'm back out front and the hole was back...not as deep..but back none the less. So I fill it in again. Days later it was dug out. This went on and on. I would fill. Creature would dig.

Finally I decided that the "I fill-you dig" game was no longer fun. I filled the hole and put a good size chunk o concrete on top. Let's see you move that!

A couple days later I go out to see that the concrete is undisturbed...whew...but next to it a brand new hole has started. Son of a b... Keep in mind I have no idea exactly what is digging the whole. Skunk, raccoon, elves...who knows..

Last night I come home...it is dark and I go to get my mail when I think I hear some stirring in the bushes. I freeze.....and slowly look up at the house and see a fairly large object moving in the bushes. I surmise that is the neighbors cat. But decide to get a flashlight to be sure.

I shine the light behind the bushes and there it is: giant possum. This possum is so large it eats normal size possums. I try to shoo it away; tossing some wood chips at it. It hisses and scurries deeper behind the bushes. No freakin way I'm diving in there in the dark (it may have a giant possum posse in there), so I turn on the outside flood lights and come inside.

Looking out a window that looks onto the shrub bed, I see ol ginormous possum curled up in the corner. Super. A pet. Going to Lowes to see what they have in the "repel huge animal" department, I am dismayed to find no "possum away". However they had some Critter Ridder which says it repels everything, but doesn't mention possums. I am hopefully that was a manufactures oversight. I mean it says it repels all these other animals..squirrels...raccoons...a possum is raccoon....ish....sorta. But oh no... maybe this stuff will actually attract possums, or kill possums or mutate possums into some unholy....possum...uh...mutant.

I bought it...crossing fingers it works....

To be continued....

1 comment:

Shephard said...

Ray, be careful. Possums have sharp teeth, and you shouldn't prod them with anything shorter than a 10 foot greased pole (the grease keeps them from running up the pole and biting your face).
We had a possum. We named it Munchie, cuz it came to eat the rotting apricots that fall from our tree. (He was the smaller, cuter variety, not the alligator sized variety you seem to have, lol).
~S