Monday, February 05, 2007

It's Not Easy Being a Baby

As cool as it is to be a baby, there are a few things that stink about being one.

The inability to control your own head. Yes try as you might to look around and see the world, your large noggin wobbles and jerks violently to the point of damn near snapping your own neck.

The inability to control your arms. You can't point or really grab anything yet so all your arms are good for is flailing. Many times you will hit yourself in the face which can really piss you off. On the plus side, they are pretty cool to stare at.

Lack of mobility. Pretty much where ever your servants place you...there you are. Too bright in this room? Don't really feel like hanging in the crib right now? Too bad squirt. Unitl you coordinate those motor skills, your stuck.

Limited diet. Sometimes you could go for a steak or maybe some chocolate cake but oh no. It's milk all day, everyday.

Language barrier. You want your favorite blank....your screaming "Blanket!!" but since your servants only hear "waaaahhh", you are left annoyed and frustrated....and with no blanket.

Diaper rash. A chaffed bottom is an unhappy bottom. Period.

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