Friday, February 17, 2006

Mouse of the House Part 2

Well it's Friday and would you look at that...I'm updating my blog just as I said I would. Who would have thunk it possible?

If you are just joining us, here is what you missed if you are too lazy to read part1. Mouse is in my house, lots of poo, lots of lysol, internet scares me and I say the F word a lot.

Now on to Step#2 catching the mouse.

I head to Lowes to see what they have in the "catching the mouse" department. Even after all the poo, the fear of death and several heart attacks, I didn't really want to kill the mouse, just get it the hell out of the house. With this in mind I bought a "live catch"trap. Mouse goes in, door slams behind it, scary music plays, the mouse pees itself, I find mouse scared and crying for its mommy in the trap, take trap, drive miles from house and open trap allowing mouse to run free and torment some other family....or get eaten by a snake or hawk; these were the pictures that appeared in a balloon over my head as I gazed at the trap.

That evening I placed the traps (I bought 2) back to back, right in the middle of our pantry floor. I turned off the lights and went to bed with visions of trapped mice dancing in my head.

When I check the pantry the next morning, like a kid on Christmas, neither trap had been sprung, yet there is mouse poo along the wall. I look at the trap packaging "place traps ALONG wall.....dumbass"...oh f-f-f-f-f-f-for god's sake. If only I read that last night. Why oh why do I not read directions. It is my gift, my curse.

Ok fine. So the next night I put both traps up against the wall in the pantry. And the next morning...nothing. Wonderful. I then go on my morning routine that I called "checking the house for poo." Remember in Alice and Wonderland the cards sang that song "We're painting the roses red...." well I sang "I'm checking the house for poo..." (it will be available on my next CD).

Sure enough I find some poo behind some furniture. O-K it's back to Lowes to see what other kinds of traps they have.

Glue traps. They don't kill the rodent but you run the risk of finding the thing all stuck to it in some weird ass fashion. But as live traps go there really weren't many other choices. So that night I but out the 1st traps I bought and the glue traps, because more traps can only be a good thing.

The next morning I came out and one of the glue traps...is gone. Oh my god it ate it, was my first thought. My second thought was that I was going to come upon this thing all stuck to the trap in some weird ass fashion. I wasn't sure which to hope for... So with flashlight in hand I start looking for the trap and I don't see it...anywhere. Now the doors to the den, we usually keep closed. I opened them up and there was the trap up against the side of my bookcase.

And no mouse.

Is this thing playing games with me? Did he push the trap around the house for fun last night? Upon closer inspection of the trap I notice foot prints. The mouse got stuck in the trap all right. But with it's unstuck leg, it dragged itself until it found something to pry itself off the trap; the opening between my bookcase and wall. Very good mouse, you win this round.

I imagined him back at his lair laughing at me. Calling up his other mouse friends on his mouse cell phone, bragging at how he dragged himself across the floor and escaped "the man". "Yes..this is what I'm telling you...I had three legs stuck to this thing...yeah..it was nuts. But you know...I've been working out recently... so...yeah...a couple times a week.....well my legs are pretty strong now...right....yeah drug myself all over the place...it was hilarious you should have seen me."

Clearly this was no ordinary mouse. It was time....to call someone...

On Monday: surely an exterminator can take of the problem.

3 comments:

tygriffin said...

Hmmm...sounds like a rat to me.

Oh, and there's never only one. I remember well the little field mice invasion we had one summer at the animal clinic I worked for. The critters were creeping in under the back door thru a quarter inch gap.

Can't wait for part 3 to your story next Friday! :)

Animator-Boy said...

You won't have to wait until next Friday. Part 3 will be up on Monday! :)

Shephard said...

Oh, please don't share gruesome details. lol
I laughed, as usual.
Warning received: Texas has very smart mice who work out a lot.
~S