I Got A Rock

• animation powers: afraid of the dark

Lately it seems the wife and I have been having a minor string of bad luck. Minor, because no one has been trapped under something heavy...at least not yet. Thank god.

It started a little over a month and half ago when someone we will call Dumbass ran into the back of the Animato-mobile.....while it was moving forward....with my wife and Wonder-pea inside. She was just driving along when WHAMMO, Dumbass runs into her. Both her and Wonder-pea were fine, but the Animato-mobile, which was brand new and no payments had yet been made, needed some repair. Lucky for us Dumbass had no insurance, no job and no chance of being on my Christmas card list.

So after that incident was taken care of, I'm parked in one of those do it yourself car wash deals. It is the evening before Wonder-pea's 2nd birthday. I finish with the car, which is looking clean for the first time in a long time, get in and nothing...won't start. How lucky...the battery is dead!

A few weeks later we go on our family vacation and by some miracle nothing lucky happens to us; expect me wetting my pants in public. We return from vacation and the very next day the Animato-mobile is blowing hot air when it's suppose to be blowing cold air. Back to the dealer we go and wouldn't ya know it, a rock had somehow navigated through the grill of the van and punctured the condenser which now needs to be replaced. Apparently it's not something that happens a lot. How lucky!

The doorknob locks on our house are crap. If you turn the switch to lock the knob you can still freely turn the doorknob from the inside. So regardless of whether you have the switch in the locked or unlocked position, the doorknob will turn when inside. Because of this "feature" there is always the chance that you will unwittingly turn the switch into the lock position, exit the house and close the door, thereby locking yourself out of the house. Like what happened to us last weekend...Memorial Day weekend......on Sunday.....at 5:30pm. Lucky for us the locksmith only charged $120.00.

That evening I told my Dad "I don't know what it is but we are having a string of minor bad luck". I then thought, "What the hell is gonna happen next." I didn't have to wait long to get an answer.

The next night we are eating at a restaurant that has a little river that runs through it. We are sitting very close to the water. My chair in particular is very close to the edge prompting comments like "Oooh don't fall in." At one point I reach into my pocket to pull out my cell phone which promptly falls out of my hand, bounces on the concrete and lands safely in the river. In my best Vader voice I yelled, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO", plunged my hand into the river, retrieved the phone and yanked the battery off. Now I need a new cell phone...lucky me.

But luck decided to stop kicking me in the crotch; at least for the time being. The next day, by some miracle, the phone worked just fine. I nearly cried. I love you Samsung.